Three things to measure a person by

After years of dealing with all kinds of people, I have a simple way to tell who is actually serious about me. Not from what they say, but from what they give. The way I see it, there are three things people can give one another: time, material, and wisdom.

The first is time. This one is the most honest, because time can never be returned. Someone willing to spend their time on you, to listen, to show up when you need them, is giving you something money cannot buy back.

The second is material. Money, help, anything with a real shape to it. It is not about how big it is, but about the willingness behind it. Someone who shares what they have, however small, is showing you they are not only thinking about themselves.

The third is wisdom. This is the one people forget most often. Support, easy communication, good energy, honest advice, the way someone keeps a relationship calm without drama. Sometimes this is the most valuable of all, because not everyone has it.

From these three, I can usually read where a person stands. When someone gives all three at once, time, material, and wisdom together, to me that is a sign they are serious about building something with you. People like this deserve everything you have in return. Give them your best.

When it is only two, do not rush to close the door, but do not hand over your full trust either. Watch a little longer. Maybe it is simply not the right time, maybe there is something they are holding back. Give it room, then see where it goes.

When it is only one, just treat them normally. No need to feel let down, no need to expect more. Keep the relationship at a natural distance. Not everyone has to enter your inner circle, and that is perfectly fine.

For me this is not about keeping score or being stingy with people. It is about knowing where to place yourself. Our energy is limited, and the people who are truly there for us deserve the biggest part of who we are.